Random stuff we think and talk about...

D: So, in most parts of Asia it is about 3-5 yuan (50 cents) to use the Internet. Here at Lantau Island, off the shore of Hong Kong, it is about 35-45 Hong Kong dollars ($5-7 dollars). The price of a bloody mary or an overpriced beer. So...we have to by a drink in order to get on the net and email our mothers and grandmothers. We are just starting so hopefully you will not tell that we have had about three hours worth of drinks, I mean Internet time (not really).

So let me start us off. I did not tell B we are writing a blog until just now when I handed him the keyboard and he went blank. I caught him speechless...OH MY GOD....HELL IS FREEZING OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

B: Ha ha ha, D.

D: So today we finally got a bike again and man does it feel good. Well, riding feels good but after about three or four hours on the bike our crotch does not feel so good. And I cannot even begin to tell you about the hills here. Lets just say there are a lot and they are steep. Or are we just weak? Amsterdam and Beijing are pretty flat.

Well, yesterday we decided to venture out on foot and headed to what looked like a seaside seafood restaurant. Say that three times fast!!!!

B: Seaside seafood restaurant, seesise seefoo restaurant, seeseme restroom stop...dang it.

D: Well, we both walk up this hill and take a gander at the menu. It did not fit our taste at the moment so we headed back. Before we looked the menu there was a cute little girl and I am always like, "Aww." DO NOT GET ANY IDEAS ANY OF YOU!!!!! When we walked back after seeing the menu I noticed that there was a hose of water spewing out by both of our feet. The little girl was actually a little boy. He just pulled out his little member and relieved himself only a few inches from our feet. WELCOME TO LANTAU ISLAND BnD!!!!

Things like this should not ever surprise us but they do. Things like what you may ask. The lack of manners and etiquette from the Chinese or Islanders. What ever do you mean by lack of manners, D? HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHMMMMMMMMM...where to start.

DISCLAIMER: We understand that we are foreigners in a foreign land and we take that to heart. We always think before we eat, speak, and relieve ourselves. We do not criticize people for their differences. We always just throw inhibitions to the wind and join in. BUT...sometimes it is hard. When in Rome...

B: Some of the cultural differences I really enjoy and are trying to work into my repertoire. One of my favorite is that in mainland China if you're in a nice restaurant and you get too hot it's totally acceptable to just take your shirt off at the table. The Chinese have never heard of "no shirt, no shoes, no service."

Another thing I like, which Deni thinks is just great, and I know my sister would love, is that you can spit just about anywhere and anytime you want to. We've been walking down streets in Beijing and hear a noise that makes us expect to see a lung just flop down on the pavement beside us. No, it's not a transplant patient rejecting a lung, it's grandma putting down one of the biggest lugees we've ever seen. No big deal in China. Also, it's okay to do this at dinner. We've been in pretty decent places and see people spit on the floor (which is also the place to ash your cigarettes--everyone smokes in China).

D: I actually got backsplash on my foot when that guy did that.

The Chinese have NEVER heard of Pampers or Huggies. This Chinese custom I am sure is older than the Han and Ming Dynasties put together. So if it ain't broke don't fix it right???? Folks, I am talking about N.B.B.!!!!!!

B: D, maybe the folks at home do not know what N.B.B. is. Maybe you should explain.

D: Guys, it's not some new disease like SARS. It stands for Naked Baby Butt. Hmmmmm. Where to start with NBB. Man. We both get freaked out thinking about it because we are afraid we may get sent to jail for 10-15.

The babies in China do not wear undies or dipers. They have a slit in the back of their pants and when they have to use the potty...they just go.

B: D, where do they go?

D: They go right there. No dipers. Just pavement, flower planter, wall, trashcan (possibly our foot). Just them and and the wind. I cannot even begin to explain this because it makes us feel weird. You just see naked baby butts everywhere. We have seen naked baby butts and other unmentionable naked baby parts that make us feel uncomfortable. We have seen naked baby butts poop in flower pots at the mall. We have seen naked baby butts pee in bottles at the Forbidden City. We have seen naked baby butts piss on the wall and on our feet instead of the trashcan less than a foot away from the handwashing station.

B: Even weirder is how parents baby their kids in China, especially the boys. We've seen some kids that are probably 8-10 years old getting their butts wiped and being carried around by their parents. We saw one 10 year old who still had to have his shoes tied by his mom.

D: Don't be jealous B.

B: I have good reason to be. I had a lot of trouble in kindergarten mastering shoelace tying. Mom can tell you. I really liked velcro.

Anyway, in China they have the One Child Policy and a culture that encourages the whole family to be very close. So that means, especially with a boy, the grandchild has four grandparents and two parents that spoil and dote on the child to an amazing degree. It's gotten so bad that the government now requires this new generation of "little emperors" to attend bootcamps to toughen them up.

D: You see alot of discipline for the girls but not the boys. I will see girls sit at the table and be perfect angels with the evil eye of grandmother. Then, you see the little boy hit, slap, an punch grandmother and she thinks it's the best thing ever. So weird.

B and I try to perfect our Chinese and right now...it still sucks. We walk through town and constantly say, "Nee-how!" which means "hello" in Chinese.

B: Actually, that means hello in Mandarin Chinese, which worked great in Beijing. In Hong Kong they talk Cantonese Chinese, which is completely different. So now we really can't communicate...luckily everyone speaks English here.

D: So when we are walking down the street and we see a little kid we are always like "Nee-how! Nee-how!". They are then encouraged by their folks to either a) say "hello" in English or b) talk to us. So, we have a three month old Chinese baby, who's hand is being waved wildy by grandmother or mother, saying, "HE-ROOOOW! HE-ROOOW!" Not to mention the younger schoolaged children who are encouraged by their folks to speak to us because we speak English. So B and I are enjoying our adult drinks (only a couple ;) ) and the view and we have a scared as hell ten-year-old boy being forced to practice his English by his hovering and scary father. Actually, I am not sure who was more frightend...us or the little boy.

B: They are seriously fascinated by us (actually white people in general) in large parts of China. In Hong Kong, of course, there are white people everywhere. In Beijing they're used to the tourists, but we got used to hearing the occassional "helloooooo" called out as we sped by on our bikes.

In central China it's a much different story. In Wushan, a town we overnighted in during our Yangtzee River cruise, we had people staring and following us around.

D: I know we said we like the attention, but when it's about ten o'clock at night and you have crowds of people following you, it can be a bit of a frightening experience.

B: The next day we visited the "Three Little Gorges" and a brand new city, built to replace one submurged beneath the rising waters behind the Three Gorges Dam. It was like nothing we've ever experienced. D and I walked into a town square and we had a crowd of 200 people stare at us and say "hello" in unison. We walked around them waving and saying nee-how. It was like we were celebrities.

D: We thought we were in trouble at first. Just 200 pairs of eyes and the sound of crickets chirping in the background. Finally after the first couple of "hello's" and tons of smiling and waving we knew that it was all good for us to be there. We felt like Bran-gelina...but only sexier. We told everyone we were Brad and Angelina and B just about gave a kid his autograph as "Steve Nash."

B: A few days later we got to Yichang, a small city by Chinese standards (population 4,000,000). It's not a regular stop on the tourist route, but we liked it. One night a woman approached me, handed me her baby and made me stand for a picture. Just because I was white and they'd never seen one of me before.

D: Maybe you forgot that I coaxed you to go to do dance at the public dance lessons being held in the middle of the city square. There are always public dance lessons being held and I got B to do some ballet with the rest of the children.

B: There were grown-ups there too.

D: Yes, B. All three of ya'll...the two dance instructors and you. Anyways, the sight of my six-foot butt tripping over the wall and my hiney in the air also attracted attention. Dontchya just love Americans!!!!